Some eggciting news and a conference

Sorry, we couldn’t resist with that title, it just felt like a given for this point in our journey.

In a nutshell, we have an egg donor and we’re hoping to have embryos created over the next month or so. We’ve known about this for a while and have been going through all necessary steps in the process (counselling, bloods, paperwork etc.), but wanted to withhold the info until things became a bit more certain.

Our donor is someone very close to us both, someone who we both respect and admire greatly and someone who we couldn’t be more thrilled to go down this bumpy road with. We’re hopeful that all goes well with the upcoming egg pickup, but regardless, we’re overwhelmed by the selflessness and generosity of this offer. We’ve talked extensively with our donor about where we stand philosophically when it comes to how the future should unfold and we be fortunate enough to become parents, and whilst none of us have a crystal ball, we foresee a future where this special little child has a close relationship with everyone that was involved in having them come into this world. We feel that they’re going to be the lucky ones with such a rich story behind their identity.

In other news, this past weekend we’ve attended the 2019 annual surrogacy conference in Melbourne. It went over two days, with day 1 concentrated on international surrogacy and day 2 domestic. In between was another dinner run by one of the amazing admins of the Australian Surrogacy Community Facebook page. We once again learnt a lot, said and heard the word journey a lot and chatted with some familiar and some fresh faces. So how did it all go?

Day 1 – International Surrogacy
Not a lot of new info to be gained here, and domestic surrogacy is still our focus for the moment, but we want to stay aware of all options. The main players were all again mentioned – US (at the top of the list but $$$$), Ukraine/Georgia (no deal for same-sex couples), Greece (a new player but feels too early to consider) and Canada (the most appealing of all countries to us, given it’s altruistic and relatively similar to Aus in terms of cost, but there are some question marks as to the availability of surrogates over there). The session on this day that stood out the most was a panel of donor conceived children via international surrogates. Two females (31 and 21 years old) and a young male (12 years old) gave a great insight into their unique identities and how that’s played a role in their lives. They were genuinely hilarious and charming and it was nice to hear from the end result of what so many of us are longing for.

In between – Australian Surrogacy Community dinner catch-up
Another chance to meet up with many players in this game in person. This dinner was much bigger than previous ones due to numbers attending the conference. We again caught up with some familiar faces and touched base regarding how everyone is faring down their respective bumpy roads. There were a number of prior/current/future/prospective surrogates in attendance, which we have to admit we felt a little apprehensive about – we know these women are kind and giving and approachable – but in our position being imposing was the last thing we’d want to do. Alas, some really lovely conversations happened and it was great to connect with a bunch of new people.

Day 2 – Domestic Surrogacy
This was a busier day than day 1, which was encouraging. It’s nice to see that people are going to give domestic surrogacy a real go despite complexities around state-based laws etc. (although we do recognise it’s not a choice for many as the financial burden of international surrogacy is simply too great an impediment). We heard from fertility specialists, surrogacy lawyers, parents through surrogacy, surrogates themselves and again children born through surrogacy.

For anyone new to this space and wanting an amazing go-to brainstorm of a variety of issues to address when/if you’re lucky enough to find a surrogate, see the images below created by a group of 30+ surrogates during a session of their own: